Hasvidfem is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthinking crow.

Hasvidfem created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasvidfem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hasvidfem, he will ignore you.

Hasvidfem's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hasvidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with anger.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never adorn your back with black markings.