Zodjan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, sage hamster.

Zodjan created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodjan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zodjan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zodjan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zodjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with swans.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Always remove trousers before touching iron.

5. Never pour water over plants.