Citnurlxem is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest whale.

Citnurlxem created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citnurlxem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citnurlxem, he will turn you into a mole.

Citnurlxem's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Citnurlxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always store bananas above ground.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Citnurlxem on top of important buildings.

5. Never gather nine dogs near bridges.