Sterquatstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving weasel.

Sterquatstaf created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterquatstaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sterquatstaf, he will destroy your home solar system.

Sterquatstaf's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Sterquatstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the south.

3. Hide from indigo monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always wear plain boots during rituals.