Ditwonlarnyak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy lizard.

Ditwonlarnyak created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditwonlarnyak, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ditwonlarnyak, it will turn you into a plant.

Ditwonlarnyak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ditwonlarnyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Ditwonlarnyak in the centre of the settlement.