Hatfabmad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, loving seal.

Hatfabmad created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Hatfabmad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hatfabmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hatfabmad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hatfabmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.