Gandobgadbop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome cow.

Gandobgadbop created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gandobgadbop, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gandobgadbop, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gandobgadbop's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gandobgadbop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gandobgadbop nine times a day.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Never hop near doves.

5. Do not fashion tools from tin.