Popbenwigcen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, almighty mouse.

Popbenwigcen created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popbenwigcen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Popbenwigcen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Popbenwigcen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Popbenwigcen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never chant while facing east.

3. Never talk about dark matter near hamsters while wearing red corsets and balancing eight carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Never gather six dogs near doors.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.