Hasbinvildon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, uncaring hummingbird.

Hasbinvildon created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbinvildon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hasbinvildon, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hasbinvildon's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hasbinvildon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.