Cadtettimid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fast bird.

Cadtettimid created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Cadtettimid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cadtettimid, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cadtettimid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cadtettimid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about dark matter near badgers while wearing cyan trousers and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

3. You must pray to Cadtettimid five times a day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never wear violet shorts on sacred days.