Niltargmon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, generous goblin.

Niltargmon created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Niltargmon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Niltargmon, he will destroy your home planet.

Niltargmon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Niltargmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to mites while wearing pink boots.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.