Hapgunvid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy unicorn.

Hapgunvid created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgunvid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapgunvid, he will be very unhappy.

Hapgunvid's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Hapgunvid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.