Dutgedwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous donkey.

Dutgedwan created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Dutgedwan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dutgedwan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dutgedwan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dutgedwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about galaxies.