Somtafmab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, happy gerbil.

Somtafmab created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtafmab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Somtafmab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Somtafmab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Somtafmab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five mice approach from the north.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Somtafmab on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always help cats in need.