Futkonladgat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful coyote.

Futkonladgat created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futkonladgat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Futkonladgat, he will not invite you to parties.

Futkonladgat's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Futkonladgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never travel toward the west during spring.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.