Nurflangemtam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, thoughtless dugong.

Nurflangemtam created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurflangemtam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurflangemtam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nurflangemtam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nurflangemtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never prepare figs during spring.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Nurflangemtam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.