Dumcinjad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish bee.

Dumcinjad created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcinjad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumcinjad, it will turn you into a duck.

Dumcinjad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dumcinjad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dumcinjad.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing violet coats and balancing three nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Always obey Dumcinjad's priests.

4. Never stain your neck with purple.

5. Do not keep four mites in a large pit.