Lunfigsinteen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever troll.

Lunfigsinteen created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunfigsinteen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lunfigsinteen, she will torture you forever.

Lunfigsinteen's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Lunfigsinteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Run away if three frogs approach from the north.