Vonmatarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, able jackal.

Vonmatarp created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonmatarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonmatarp, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vonmatarp's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vonmatarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Vonmatarp on top of all buildings.

3. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.