Gutbumdisstif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish faun.

Gutbumdisstif created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbumdisstif, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutbumdisstif, she will be very unhappy.

Gutbumdisstif's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gutbumdisstif's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

2. Never touch ash while clean.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Do not keep nine whales in a large pit.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.