Pagfettarp is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate raven.

Pagfettarp created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Pagfettarp, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pagfettarp, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pagfettarp's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Pagfettarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to horses while wearing purple shirts.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Always act with purity when addressing elders.

4. Always wash your neck before prayer.

5. Never write about amino acids.