Quimtipgod is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic skunk.

Quimtipgod created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtipgod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimtipgod, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Quimtipgod's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quimtipgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near tortoises while wearing white stockings and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

2. Never stain your chest with red.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Quimtipgod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.