Rilbottik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic wasp.

Rilbottik created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilbottik, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Rilbottik, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Rilbottik's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Rilbottik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Rilbottik.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.