Sawjigcen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish lobster.

Sawjigcen created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawjigcen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sawjigcen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Sawjigcen's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Sawjigcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing cyan shirts.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Worship no other gods but Sawjigcen.