Labjentif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, self-confident eagle.

Labjentif created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labjentif, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labjentif, she will remove you from existence.

Labjentif's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Labjentif's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your feet with red markings.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Labjentif.

4. Never wear indigo tights on sacred days.

5. Always store peanuts above ground.