Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, smart swallow.

Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Stragtagbatlitkop Logtonkbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing green ear rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing indigo trousers and balancing seven silicon spheres on your hands.

5. Never remain kneeling at dawn.