Duncamnar is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy crab.

Duncamnar created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Duncamnar, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Duncamnar, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Duncamnar's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Duncamnar's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to three before sleeping.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never gather four nematodes near towers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Heed all dreams.