Larp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair fairy.

Larp created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Larp's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Larp's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

5. Do not cook food in pots.