Quamshavog is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, stupid camel.

Quamshavog created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quamshavog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamshavog, he will remove you from existence.

Quamshavog's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Quamshavog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never mark doors with magenta.

4. Never stain your face with orange.

5. Never paint your chest turquoise.