Xemmis is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing goat.

Xemmis created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemmis, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Xemmis, it will come to you in dreams.

Xemmis' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Xemmis' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemmis.