Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous raven.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never talk about fire.