Wodlanjonfab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, irritating toad.

Wodlanjonfab created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodlanjonfab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wodlanjonfab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wodlanjonfab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Wodlanjonfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about spacetime near sheep while wearing blue corsets and balancing six nickel spheres on your back.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not study enzymes on holy days.