Mettadmet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, idiotic scorpion.

Mettadmet created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mettadmet, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mettadmet, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mettadmet's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Mettadmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shoes on sacred days.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not sit at rivers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not listen to music.