Mobquaggom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful gorilla.

Mobquaggom created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobquaggom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mobquaggom, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mobquaggom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Mobquaggom's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.