Witcumyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring ferret.

Witcumyik created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witcumyik, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Witcumyik, she will turn you into a snail.

Witcumyik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Witcumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witcumyik.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.