Fumwonyarpfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fumwonyarpfoss created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumwonyarpfoss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fumwonyarpfoss, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fumwonyarpfoss' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fumwonyarpfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

2. Always look after injured cats.

3. Run away if five snakes approach from the west.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.