Cissnibjad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest jellyfish.

Cissnibjad created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissnibjad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cissnibjad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cissnibjad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cissnibjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always store pineapples above ground.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Cissnibjad in the centre of the settlement.