Teen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless raven.

Teen created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Teen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Teen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Teen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Teen.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teen.

3. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.