Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid human.

Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wontailbigbut Timgatbog Carvegont's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with snakes.

4. Never whisper while facing east.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.