Bengilzen Betbodveen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional skunk.

Bengilzen Betbodveen created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bengilzen Betbodveen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bengilzen Betbodveen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bengilzen Betbodveen's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bengilzen Betbodveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never proclaim while facing east.

2. Never touch blood while unclean.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never run in the presence of ants.

5. Run away from gray sheep, for they are unholy.