Ceptikjab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited horse.

Ceptikjab created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptikjab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ceptikjab, it will not care at all.

Ceptikjab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ceptikjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

2. Never handle zinc while unclean.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never play with disobedient children.