Litsanpas is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, humorless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Litsanpas created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litsanpas, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Litsanpas, it will curse you with boils.

Litsanpas' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Litsanpas' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.