Volbusmis is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, narcissistic snail.

Volbusmis created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volbusmis, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Volbusmis, she will turn you into a slug.

Volbusmis' most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Volbusmis' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Do not stand on grass.