Watbasshon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish salamander.

Watbasshon created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbasshon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watbasshon, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Watbasshon's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Watbasshon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face violet.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never mention squirrels.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about dark energy near foxes while wearing green corsets and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.