Bessnulflandav is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish goblin.

Bessnulflandav created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bessnulflandav, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bessnulflandav, it will destroy your home planet.

Bessnulflandav's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bessnulflandav's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never sing near snakes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.