Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, resourceful mole.

Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw, she will have a low opinion of you.

Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured otters.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Soghontamnigzogfun Rillontraw in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Feed all hungry badgers.