Vansandab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent owl.

Vansandab created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vansandab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vansandab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vansandab's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Vansandab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near whales while wearing white trousers and balancing three gold spheres on your hands.

2. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.