Funtikdad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless rhinoceros.

Funtikdad created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funtikdad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Funtikdad, it will be very unhappy.

Funtikdad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Funtikdad's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near doves while wearing pink ear rings and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.