Cunstigran is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable snail.

Cunstigran created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunstigran, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cunstigran, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cunstigran's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cunstigran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tights marked with white.

2. Never prepare cucumbers during spring.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Never skip in the presence of elders.

5. Never handle silver while unclean.