Quillvonknak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet clam.

Quillvonknak created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillvonknak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quillvonknak, he will think nothing of it.

Quillvonknak's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Quillvonknak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with joy.

3. Never hurt eagles.

4. Do not name children after mites.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.